Thanksgiving

We drove to ID to spend Thanksgiving with my family. It was going to be fun because all of my siblings were going to be there. We would be having the dinner at my sister's House in Rigby. We were staying with my youngest brother Barry and his wife Sam. They have a 6 month old son named Warren (his name can from my grandfather). He ia such a happy boy. He would do his army crawl to come and see me. He would love to have me hold him he also liked having my kids around. We had all the fixin's for the dinner turkey, ham, cornbread stuffing, ect. My sister has to be on a gluten free diet so she made lots of things that she could eat. She also had to dish up her food first so it would not get contaminated. I would not have wanted to see her get sick. I made a pumpkin cheese cake and it was the hit of the dinner. We went to my brother in laws warehouse and played and watched Home Alone in there movie theater room. We all got to have our photos taken by Bary's mother in law. Too bad Lizzy wanted to cry and be a pill the whole time we were getting the phots taken. We were driving back on Sunday and the weather was super bad we probably saw 20 cars on the side of the road from ID to UT. We were glad when we got home. We then went to tithing settlement and found out that Issac was going to be released from his calling that day. Needless to say he was really happy that he doesn't have to plan any more activities for the ward. We have the ward Christmas party on Friday and then he will be done. I was teasing him that he was going to be called to teach primary. He said that he would be fine with that.
As for me I have deiced that I would take birth control for 6 months and then see how I feel and if I feel better then I am going to try and get pregnant and then "if" I do then I will probably have an hysterectomy (sp). I guess we will have to see how the next 6 moths goes. I have been relying on my Heavenly Father to help me make this decision because I know that I could not make it on my own. I am feeling happier this week and do not feel like crying every day. I think the birth control is helping with that. I hope that you all had a fun and relaxing Thanksgiving.

What to do?

I am not sure what I need to do. I have been to my OBGYN this week. I have been having a period for about 14 days for the last 3 months. I had an ultrasound and MRI done and they both came back saying that the insion from my c-section has scar tissue. I have been wanting to try and have another baby, but I think that I will not be able to have one. I think that I am going to have to have my female parts taken out so I will not be bleeding so much and so I will not be in pain. I keep having headaches all the time and that is not like me. Needless to say I have been crying all week and when I see a photo of a baby I cry too. I also feel like I have been a bad mother because I have just been wanting to lay in bed and do nothing else. I also have been feeling like I am dizzy and want to throw up. The other thing that I do not understand is that I have been having an impression that I am to have another daughter, but mabye I am not to have her in this life. I know that if I pray then I will get the right answer so until that answer comes I will just have to wait patiently and deal with the pain. I love you all!